A Spectator

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Seven Billion people and counting. And, apparently I created them! (?) They are my “children”? My “creation”??
I do not remember why I created them. As hard as I may try, I just can’t remember why. Maybe… maybe because I needed them?  Could it be because I was lonely? Or, maybe there is no reason at all. Maybe I did it without any rhyme or reason. Anyway it doesn’t matter now. After all it was so so long ago and I can hardly remember anything. You probably guessed that by now.
Age. Age does that to you. Age takes away your strength and, more importantly your memory. Without my strength, without my memory I’m but an ancient old man. Well, that’s what they tell- that… that I’m a man. But I have reservations.
Of my birth I’ve no memory. No recollections of my childhood either or, of my youth. There’s nothing. Nada. Zilch. There is just the never ending vastness of emptiness until the day of creation(?)- the day supposedly everything was created. Before that nothing and then suddenly there was everything. You know the planets, the stars, light and the like. And, apparently you have me to thank for it.
Who could this old ancient… ancient old man be? There are more than one truths about me. But, I do not know which one is truly true. Thousand claim to know me, my life and all that I have ever done and will ever do. And yet I stand here clueless. Age? Memory? Time?
My name, my age and all that I’ve ever done and all that I’ll ever do are all up for debate. And all this while I remain clueless. I remain a mere spectator, unable do so much as move a strand of hair. The claims these people make never ceases to amaze me. Their incredulous claims dumbfound me. And I wonder, wonder why they believe I could have done all those things; the good, the bad, amazing, unbelievable and downright evil.
Why I am not able to do any of those things now is a mystery. But then I remember my age… sort of. I remember I can’t even remember my age. I try to make a guess but that’s useless to. Then I conclude- Age…Age seems to be the problem. My memory(ies) long lost with the passage of incomprehensible amount of time. And without remembering how I did what I did and what I am supposed to do, I’m helpless. I’m powerless. And so I just listen and watch and all the while I’m unable to decide this from that.
                  ***
Wherever I look there are things happening. I see people living their lives- some creating, some destroying, some protecting and some doing nothing- praying! There is destruction everywhere. War. Disease. Hunger. Terrorism. Calamities. Famine. And I, despite what people below believe and say or pray, just watch unable to do anything.  They are on their OWN. They are doomed. Their false hope in me the reason for their doom.
What I believe…what I want doesn’t matter. What they do matters. What they believe matters. And they have plenty of it. And their beliefs… THEIR belief… I’ve seen their beliefs do its job…I’ve seen it destroy civilizations and commit atrocities. I have seen it holding them back. It has set them back by a hundred years. But I’m and old man. Do not rely on my words, my memory. It could all be my imagination. Imagination. Can I even imagine? Anyway no one ever listens to me they just assume. They assume I said a certain thing to a certain someone and they follow. Not me. But today I shall talk and it doesn’t matter if anyone is listening to me or not.
Their assumptions are something to behold. They are the master of contradictions. Apparently I’m one and also, we are many. We are uncountable and yet, numerable. I am everywhere and yet I am nowhere. I know everything and here I am clueless. I am the all-powerful and yet I remain powerless.
What am I? Who am I? Am I even an “I”? I have no clue. Probably it is my memory. I guess age does that. But despite the age, despite my memory or lack thereof, despite my existence or inexistence, I am…we are (doesn’t matter) a contradiction and a mere spectator.






Comments

Unknown said…
Wow !!! Loved it.....
September 19, 2017 at 8:31 PM
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