Till Death Do Us Part

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What is love anyway? Is it ignorance? Is it denial? Is it compatibility? Is it sacrifice? Whatever it is, whatever it maybe, one thing is clear- Once you fall in love you overlook each and every flaw in the person you love. As far as you are concerned that person is the best (and that may even be).It doesn't even matter if that person reciprocates the feelings or not. It doesn't matter if the person hurts you. Even if love hurts you every day with all the hurt in the world, you never learn to hate. Maybe that is good enough—the absence of hate.

***
"Love is for fools, for those with a feeble heart.”
I was no such fool or, so I thought.

***
"How can anyone cry watching a movie? I mean, really, how?”
“I don't know. Ask someone who does. "
“Well... I just did. "
"Wtf!"
"Dear John..."
"What?! I don't even watch "love stories"."
“Ha-ha. Nobody does, nobody.Well at least those of with the right frame...”
“Are you going for futsal?”
"Do you have some movies? Too much time, nothing much to do."
“Futsal?!... What are you listening to?" He pulled off the earphones.
  
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide no escape from reality.

“Great song this. So what about futsal?"
“I almost forgot. Of course I'm going. What time?"
“I don't know...maybe 5. Could be 6."

***
University. Five years on. Same old me. Gets quite boring actually. Still as strong as an Ox...obviously. Single. Also, obvious.

"Pass me that book, will you?"
"Which? This?"
"No the other one."
"This?"
"No."
"Stop screwing around. I've a presentation to prepare for."
““Prepare for presentation." Who the hell even does that?! You just get to the podium, act as if you know everything and speak whatever the hell comes to your mind."
“Shut it, will you?! Just shut the fuck up."
“Whoa! Dude, you just fucking said fuck. You fuck up, I mean shut up. Mind your fucking language,"
"Really?"
"Yeah, I mean it."
“You don't see the irony? Well... Sure you don't. You are a hypocrite."
"No, I'm not. Anyway did you finish Oedipus?"
"What?! Should I? Do I need to?"
"I don't know. Just making small talk."
"I've a presentation. Tomorrow!"
"So?"
“So, fuck off!"
"Whoa. It's your second time today."
“FUCK OFF!"

***
Three years later. His marriage. One of the temples. Didn't care much for its name then, won't bother remembering now.

"You're breaking my heart man. You're getting married dude."
“You’ll too someday."
"You let me down. You gave in. And she ain't even beautiful."
“Not that it matters, but she really is beautiful. Anyway you're here and that…um… matters."
“Not here for your marriage bro. It's the end of an era and the food is...here for the food."
““Here for the food." Never change man, never change."
“Why in the world would I change? I’m just Perfect the way I am."
"That you are." Hahaha
“Why you laughing? Anything funny?"
“Oh it's nothing, just you being perfect and all." Hahaha
“Let’s go somewhere, have a drink or two."
“Now? Have you gone mental? Three hours to my marriage..."
“YES. THREE HOURS!!...By the way, I've already talked to her and she's is okay with it."
“Oh really, now have you?”
“No, I haven't. You'll thank me for it though."
"No, I definitely won't. You drunk?"
"No, but we WILL be! Come on. One last hurrah."
"I don't know...”
“LET’S GO!! I've already reserved a cab, so we can go where ever the fuck we want. Don't worry we'll be at the temple just in time. Maybe an hour late."

***
Funeral. Five years later. His funeral. He had an accident. I was on the other side. On the phone. Nobody knows about it. I haven't had the guts to tell. Some "Ox"—a coward.

There, he lies on the pyre. Motionless. Dead. Barely recognisable. Defaced. Blood all over. Her wail, her grief fills the ghat. The family grief stricken and gripped with helplessness. The rest- the malamis, deeply saddened. Me? I don't deserve to be sad. Only friends deserve to be sad. I deserve so much worse. I have no right to be sad. I killed him. I'm the murder. I took away everything he had. I took everything from his family, from her. I was no friend of his. I couldn’t have been. He deserved so much better. My infatuation of him was his end. The moment I had laid my eyes on him, he was already dead. I had already killed him. That can't be love. This can't be love.
***

         What is love anyway?



Location: Kathmandu 44600, Nepal

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